Strength vs Warmth: How to be a Charismatic Leader
A research shows that we see about 2000 advertisements everyday. Some ads tend to be perform better than others. What sets these advertisements apart? It is how compelling the ad is to us. Whether you plan on becoming a top marketer or a top CEO, it is crucial for us to be compelling as it brings us closer to our goal. This book Compelling People goes in-depth about things that may seem trivial but play a large role in how compelling we are presented to be. Matthew Kohut and John Neffinger explains very in depth and goes over everything you would have to know.
Many of us have faced a situation where we need to lead a group of people. When leading a group, not only do you have the burden of all the group members, but you have to make sure that you are leading the group efficiently, all while not coming out as an arrogant person. It is very hard to have the right mix between an effective leader and likable person. When one does balance these two, they are presented to be a charismatic leader meaning a mix of warm and strength. Being charismatic is very difficult and is called a “divine gift” as it is a difficult trait to have. So what are variables affecting your warmth and strength?
Let’s think about some people that project strength. Some people like Jack Welch of GE. People that project strength are usually very capable and talented. When working alone, they can get their share of the work done without problems. But when people that only project strength work together, problems start to happen. Why? Because if someone only projects strength, it becomes hard for other people to approach them.
Let’s now look on the contrary. What are some traits that project warmth? The people that project warmth are usually able to empathize with you and are approachable. When working together, these people tend to make the mood of the group better and allows the group to have a much better communication. When working alone, someone who projects just warmth tend to have difficulty getting things done as they lack the capability and strength to do so.
Now, if we have to choose one, which one is better? This has been debated for many centuries. One of the most famous strategist Niccolo Machiavelli wrote, “ Whether it be better to be loved than feared or feared than loved?One should wish to be both, but it is difficult to unite them in one person." It is indeed very difficult to be portrayed as a charismatic leader as you need to balance strength and warmth. But since not many people are able to be charismatic, it will give you a huge advantage over others once you possess the quality. Let’s take a look at what makes someone look charismatic.
If you are a men, you are presumed to be strong. Because of this archetype, men are able to get away with dominant behavior such as getting angry. An angry man is perceived as being competent and high status compared to someone accepting injustice calmly. On the contrary, if you are a woman, you are presumed to project warmth. If a woman projects coldness and strength, it goes against people’s expectations that women are supposed to stay at home raising kids. That doesn’t mean a women can’t show strength. One good example of a strong woman is Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton was able to establish strength without getting negative responses of going against the archetype. Why? Because she was able to come out as a charismatic person. The book goes a lot more in-depth into the different variables that affect our strength and warmth such as the way you smile, the way you walk, and the clothes you wear.
The other half of the book covers how we can be more persuasive. Let's take a while back to when Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated. Everyone was feeling very angry about this. There were so many people rioting that the state police said that he would not be able to put down the riot. Sure enough, riots erupted in more than one hundred cities in US. Except in Indianapolis, where every one was angry, but it remained at peace. Let’s take a look at what actually happened.
Robert Kennedy was delivering the news to the crowd. Just one wrong word would change the life and death of many people. He first started his speech by acknowledging their bitterness and anger which showed his warmth as he was being empathetic. Then, he goes on to say that one of his brother was killed by a white man. This gave Kennedy a connection with the crowd making the crowd feel like Kennedy feels the same way as them. Then he went on to say that how violence is not the way to solve. Sure enough, no one in Indianapolis started a riot. Now let’s decompose this to know why this was so powerful. When the crowd first was listening to Robert, they probably didn’t want to listen. But when Kennedy emphasized with the crowd, the crowd developed a connection with Kennedy as it showed that he understands how the people felt. As Kennedy goes on to say that his brother has also died, it creates a similarity between the crowd and Kennedy and that they share the same feelings. This opened the crowd’s heart and made them actually listen to what he said. When Kennedy talks about how he feels, people started to listen. By demonstrating warmth in Indianapolis, Kennedy was able to keep Indianapolis peaceful. So make sure you are starting out showing warmth to build a connection with your audience.
So I hope you were able to take something away from this book review. Follow me on Facebook and Twitter to stay updated!
Stay strong!
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